So, just as I thought I was going to fix all the things wrong with my life… all the ways I have been stupid… all the ways I have been an idiot… all the way I am self-limiting and under-performing… just as I am about to embark on a new phase of my life, everything from my past comes back to bite me in the ass. Because, you see, I suck at anything having to do with money.
On Monday I went to go to the DMV, because I realized that my license was going to expire the next day. And because my birth certificate was an unofficial copy, and because my passport was expired they couldn’t help me. So… I planned to order a copy of my birth certificate, but then I get this bright Idea! I could probably renew my Massachusetts license on-line and then I could still drive and stuff while I waited for my birth certificate to show up. (Sometimes I am brilliant… I know)
Except, I am an ass-waffle and a failure.
Massachusetts won’t renew my license on line because… of six different reasons… like I have three unpaid excise tax bills from 2009 and 2010… and on my record there is a ticket for a seat-belt violation (I know nothing about this I have never been sighted for a seat belt violation in my life.) And I have an outstanding bill with the DMV… (I received a letter several years ago saying I don’t own them for this…) And apparently there is a bench warrant out for my arrest.
All of these issues date from 2009-2010, a year before I moved to California. I never received any mail about these… nor was I informed about these issues. Really, all they want is money from me… they want me to pay what I owe, and pay penalties and pay and pay and pay and pay… not having money to pay for something once means you will pay through the nose. It means you will loss everything and they will bleed you dry just so you know how wrong and bad you are for not paying in the first place… fees and penalties are the modern day debtors prison.
I am going to keep at this because I need my life to have order, to make sense and to have meaning and it won’t until I manage to get enough control over my life to manage my money, to have enough money that people will stop charging me for not having enough money.
I just want to make this right.
In the good news category, I was able to order and expedite a copy of my birth certificate and it will be here in at most two weeks and perhaps much faster than that. So that is a bit of a positive.
Mostly though, I just feel like a completely stupid ass-hole who would serve the world best by running spikes through me eyes and jumping off a bridge into and on-coming train.
Mildly happy to see that Neil Gaiman sometimes has typos too. (Small uptick in self-appreciation.)
muerte de la señora